It’s never easy to go through a personal struggle, especially when you do it alone. Within the past month I’ve gone from great to good to terrible to decent to terrible (again!) and then back to decent. I’ve seen a very dark corner of my life and had some wretched days that I hope to never return to again. As of right this moment, I’m doing alright but I know it can change at any time.

Probably the hardest and most frustrating part about going through adversity alone is the fact that you are fighting yourself at every corner. Every single decision, every single thought and feeling is against yourself. You try and figure things out, analyze things, explain the reasons for events and actions but you have no second objective entity to bounce ideas off of, all you got is yourself. And being you, you almost always come to the same conclusions quickly. And before you know it you’ve just reassured everything you first proposed, only throwing out the truly insane ideas (or maybe not?).

Instead of returning down that path (I’ve done it before and it is not pretty) I’ve decided to ignore searching for “real” answers and just take what I’ve been given as the answer. Though not always applicable to all personal struggles, mine in particular should be easier this way. To be honest, I cringed right there when I typed out “easier”, because frankly it’s not easier. A better word for it might be salvageable, or carry-able? Regardless, I basically mean that in not trying to analyze too far and to go out and get that answer that I need to move on. Instead I’m taking what I’ve been given and working with that and using it as the answer to move on and to try to clean up the mess that has been made.

Anyways, I’ll be making more posts more frequently on a variety of stuff and I’ll be updating the blog itself so hopefully everything goes to plan this time (:

*Cough* *Cough*

Well I know probably everyone and your mother has been talking about the recent SOPA/PIPA/Megaupload events that have become headlines over the past week(s). I can’t say I’ve paid much attention to all the proceedings around the US congress and their decisions and whatever else they are doing with these proposed legislative “laws” so I’ll try not to show my ignorance too much. But what has really put this all into perspective is the shutting down of Megaupload.

A site that I once held as holy grail of a resource for downloading files was taken off the net as simply as flipping a switch. Now whether this was the right thing, or even legal thing, to do I’m not so sure. But when you think of the amount of piracy spread throughout the internet, I’m sure Megaupload had a great deal of it located within their servers. Again, I don’t profess to know enough about copyright law or even the American legal system to say whether they were in the wrong or not but at face value it almost seems that they are definitely a little responsible for giving users the ability to share files that may have, indeed, been illegal to share. But I’m really not posting this for me to talk about Megaupload’s legal position or obligations to their users and Corporate America but rather to share (and maybe promote a bit) a blog post from a site I frequent during my boring weekday evenings.

The site is called Free Gamer, and tends to post and support various open source game development projects and game development news in general. As an area of game development that gets far too little publicity, I think they do a great job advertising for many decent projects and a few excellent projects among the dozens of other projects that they post about. But today they had a post that I found quite interesting and I thought I’d comment on over here at my blog.

The post basically talks about how people should, instead of paying these large corporations for their media/goods, make or at least assist in creating our own content and/or media for our own purposes. This sort of collaboration “scheme” is an interesting idea that I’ve seen entertained before but I always regarded it as a fool’s conviction rather than an actual possibility. It has just always occurred to me that no one could really gather enough people in this world to make this sort of action(s) possible. Almost like the many trial runs of communist societies, I don’t think you could get everyone on the same page and then expand it enough to make it workable. Although, don’t get me wrong, I would love the idea if it indeed would work but I have serious doubts that it’ll ever happen on a large enough scale to really sock it to the large corporations. And before anyone points any fingers and says that I’m just a nay-sayer and it’ll never work if we all don’t do our part; I do. I have given away countless 3D models under very unrestrictive licenses and I don’t mind it at all. I have never minded that a project would want to use my models, all I ask would be to be credited somewhere. But now I’m wandering off topic :/

Regardless of whether you think like me and don’t believe it would work or you just are maybe the slightest bit curious I encourage you to check this post out for yourself (and because I may have gone off in the wrong direction LOL). And also check out the site/blog as well just in case you find something you like or maybe want to contribute to. And don’t be afraid to leave me an evil comment saying that I’m a total dunce and obviously didn’t read the post I was commenting on. A nice comment is also much appreciated as well ;).